I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
