Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
