Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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