We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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