it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
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Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
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Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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