I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize