I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
