I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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