this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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