lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
