It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
