Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
