You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
