Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
