Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
