I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
