I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
