everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
