Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
im holly from the hills drunk
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
