My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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