I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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