brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
