i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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