He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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