I heard we made out
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
