Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize