Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
