Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
