so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
