I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
he had hair everywhere except his balls
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
