I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Girls should come with a carfax report
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
