think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize