i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
