The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
