We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
