Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
