jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Lo siento on account of my penis...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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