So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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