just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
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Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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