Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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