at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
