next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
