If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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