Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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