DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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