ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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