You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
what day is it and did you see me today?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
