Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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