Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
im holly from the hills drunk
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
