There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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