Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
