Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
