Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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