peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
